Citizen Soldier: Soundtracking Strength
THE THERAPEUTIC POWER OF FINDING HUMAN CONNECTION THROUGH MUSIC
Citizen Soldier was born in 2016 when frontman Jake Segura penned the lyrics to “Let It Burn” from a psychiatric hospital. Now practicing as a clinical therapist, he implements intensely emotional lyrical themes on mental health into their music. The band presents an accessible message that combats stigmatization and provides a group therapy dynamic.
Based in Salt Lake City, Utah, Segura is joined by guitarists Matt Duffney and Kooper Hanosky, bassist/keyboardist Wonitta, and drummer Kyle Persell.
(From Citizen Soldier’s YouTube Description)
At the end of 2022, as I was starting to realize that 2023 was likely going to be the most difficult year of my life, I opened a TikTok that my friend, Charlie, had sent me. As I listened to the euphoniously rhythmic yet substantially heavy notes and raw, honest lyrics of Jake Segura and Citizen Soldier for the first time, I knew this music, this band, would be life-changing for me. It soothed me, validated me, in parts of my soul even music had never touched before.
“My favorite thing about not being able to be a therapist for my fans is that I get to be your friend.”
-Jake Segura, Citizen Soldier
When I picked up the phone to do this interview, I was overwhelmed with all the questions I wanted to ask in such a short amount of time, so I decided to just start at the beginning. His beginning. Citizen Soldier’s beginning.
NORA ASHLEIGH BARRIE: Citizen Soldier began as a pet project of yours with the intention of making just one album. What would your former self, the one sitting in a hospital writing “Let it Burn”, what would he think if he could see where Citizen Soldier is now?
JAKE SEGURA: I... I think he’d be in shock. There’s no part of me that ever believed that, that day, or that creative spark, would turn into this. I think, in that moment, I just wanted to find a way to motivate myself to keep going. I think it’s just some sort of way to create some positive energy and motivate myself to get out of that situation, and find a way to just move forward. And that’s all it was, you know, was just kind of a pep talk to myself and I’d never anticipated it would become what it did.
NB: So, this question is one my husband actually requested I ask you. There’s a lot of military references in your work. Have any of the band members served in the military or where do the military connections come from?
JS: We get that question a lot. And we haven’t. Yeah, a lot of people think that I’m ex-military. I’ve worked with people who are ex-military. But where the name comes from, a lot of people think that cuz of the name. The name just comes from the idea that, you know, Citizen: The everyday person. You know, the single mom that’s working two jobs and struggling to keep her head above water, that’s just an example. And then Soldier: The battle or the struggle they’re going through that nobody knows about. So a lot of people have made that assumption and none of us are ex-military, we obviously have great respect for those who are, but none of us have actually served.
NB: What is your favorite song to perform?
JS: That’s a good question. I think it’s different every tour. I think every tour there’s kind of one that stands out and is just really fun to play. Right now, I think my favorite song to perform is a song called “Afterlife”. That’s a song that we opened the set with on the Smash Into Pieces tour. So right now, I would say it’s either “Afterlife” or “Face to Face.”
NB: If you had to replace each of the members of Citizen Soldier with legendary rock stars for one show, which rock stars would you pick and which venue would they play?
JS: Wow… um… Well, Kooper would be Steven Tyler. Um... Wonitta would be a member of the Beatles, maybe John Lennon. He’s a very thoughtful, meticulous songwriter. Soulful. I think that’d be where he fits. Matt would be Dimebag Darrell, or some thrash, some metal guitarist… yeah, I think he’d be someone like that. As far as Kyle’s concerned, it’s hard to kinda put Kyle… I’d probably just defer to him. I know he really… he’s mentioned respect for Neil from Rush, so maybe that’s who I’d... I’ll let him be who he wants to be. As far as venue, I think everyone’s talked about how amazing it would be to play Red Rocks in Colorado.
NB: Um… but what about you? Who would be you?
JS: Ah, geez… that’s a good question. Um… man, I don’t know. Um… it’s crazy, a lot of the bands that I grew up idolizing are like, now gonna be options for us to tour with pretty soon here. Like, it’s crazy to me that some of these bands are starting to consider us like equals. Now, as we’ve grown, not that that really changes anything, I’m just trying to think of who… um… I don’t know. I’m thinking of somebody in the grunge world. I mean, if I were able to choose, I’d probably say someone like Chris Cornell, or Layne Staley from Alice in Chains. I really love that really dark early grunge rock. And from like, the early 2000s. Alice in Chains and Soundgarden are probably my two favorite influences from that era. So I’d say one of those two.
Wonitta: John Lennon (The Beatles)
Matt: Dimebag Darrell (Pantera)
Kooper: Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)
Kyle: Neil Peart (Rush) or whoever he wants to be
Jake: Chris Cornell (Soundgarden/Audioslave) or Layne Staley (Alice in Chains)
Venue: Red Rocks, Colorado
NB: What has been your most meaningful achievement as a band so far?
JS: I think it’s probably, you know, I would say that it’s the shift from just putting music out online and really turning this into a touring band. I think that’s been special because that gives the fans the opportunity… it’s kinda like they’re going to a support group or group therapy. It’s like, all these people from all over the world are getting together that have gone through really similar struggles and they’re bonding over that, right? They’re making connections. As great as the songs are, nothing compares to actually having someone there to talk to. And so I think that our shows are an opportunity for people to find each other. I think that’s absolutely powerful.
NB: Which band member is the biggest prankster? What is the most memorable prank they have pulled?
JS: Man, prankster. I don’t know that we truly have a prankster. Um… we’re all too old and tired for that. We’re all kinda old men, like we’re…
NB: Is Kooper the baby?
JS: You mean, like, in age? I’m the youngest actually. Yeah, I’m 29. I’m the youngest of the bunch. Kooper just turned 30. Kyle’s turning 30. As far as prankster, I would say Matt probably fits that bill. The rest of us… but he also sometimes will go to bed at 9pm. The rest of us are like, we all have our old man moments where sometimes we all just wanna sleep and we get kinda boring sometimes, cuz we’re just tired all the time.
NB: How do you come up with some of the more intellectual lyrics you write?
JS: Um… I think it’s different every time. I think it’s kinda a puzzle. You know it’s like, a song like “Good Enough for God” that’s talking about faith crisis. The hardest part of a great song is getting the hook. Or getting the title, right? That takes some time. Once you have something you feel really good about, you’re kind of creating a world out of that hook, you know? And everything has to serve it. The verses, the instrumental, the riff, like, everything has to enhance that hook and just kind of serves to make it more memorable.
As far as lyrics are concerned, I think I kind of have a process where the first verse I’m kinda like, “Well okay, how does this story start?” You know, like, “Good Enough for God”, it’s, “Father, this is my confession.” It’s kind of setting the stage for everything that’s coming in a religious sense. And then I kind of have this reputation for, on the second verses, I try to sneak a gut punch line in there. You know, something that’s gonna kinda hurt, but in a validating way. And I push myself to always do that on the second verse cuz that’s the place where you can lose a lotta people. And the bridge is always, somehow, the easiest for me because, for some reason, those are always super fluid and just kinda come to me.
But it’s different for every song, you know? There are songs like “Always December” where I take six months to write the lyrics because it has to be perfect. Then there’s songs like “Good Enough for God” where they just kinda come. So I’d say it’s different every time.
NB: Your mom has asked you, “Why are the songs so dark and so sad?” So…. why are they? OR are they even?
JS: Well… I always have to add some context to this conversation because I had the perfect mother growing up. She was nonjudgmental, patient, and kind. So I would never want one statement to paint her as not being understanding of me or my struggles or being intolerant. But she, like any good mom would, I think, and now that I’m a parent I think I understand more. You know, she hears those songs and she’s concerned, you know? I think it’s just her way of asking me, “Are you okay?” You know, they’re worried that they’ve done something, or that something’s happened. My answer to that, I think, I didn’t always have a great answer at first, and so it really gave me some time to think about that and wonder like, “Why is this so important?”.
Since I’ve become a therapist, I’ve learned more and more how much people are just, how much a human being craves the feeling of feeling seen. You know, feeling understood. Feeling heard. Like, we jump so quickly to fix it mode when our friends and family are struggling. We tell them what to do. We tell them what to change. When really, they just wanna be heard, you know? They just want us to put in the effort to understand how hard life has been for them and to not offer any advice. Yet. Right? Just take the time to get it. I think my favorite question as a therapist. I’ll say, “This feels really important for me to understand. What parts of this do you feel maybe I’m not fully grasping yet? What can you help me understand better?” And like, that question unlocks something in people.
Like, we go to the supermarket and our neighbors and friends ask us, “How are you?” And we say, “Good, how are you?” “Okay, bye.” We do that because people don’t really wanna hear the real answer, right? They don’t wanna take the time to sit down and really hear about how that person is struggling with suicidal thoughts, or how they’re thinking about divorcing their spouse, or you know, we kind of keep the ugly stuff under the rug, and that’s really damaging. So I think that’s why those songs are so important is they kind of become this companion for the fans to let them know, like, “Oh there’s somebody else feeling this too. I’m not alone.”
NB: So then, are you the kind of person who will stay up talking to a friend until dawn, because you know in that moment they need someone and you can be there?
JS: I wanna be sure not to paint myself out as a Messiah because I am infinitely flawed and have made all those mistakes in my relationships that I’ve had to repair. I mean, as much as I’d like to say there are moments where I love being able to do that for people, you know, I’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way that have taught me. I think that everyone’s kind of inclined to talk about themselves a lot because we’re all so used to being ignored. So we kind of like, we crave being heard, so we kind of talk about ourselves a lot. And I’ve caught myself doing it at times. You know, it’s like… it’s kinda like a cry for help. You know, it’s like, “Hey, I’m going through something, somebody pay attention to me.” And it’s like, I think it’s very natural in a lotta ways as humans, but I’ve had to build some self-awareness around that.
I have made some deliberate attempts to focus on you know, “I haven’t talked to this person in a while. Am I gonna really ask the questions that matter today, or am I just gonna kinda go through the motions and keep it casual?” It takes some… there has to be more of a deliberate effort. It’s so easy for things kind of, to be muscle memory, and just easy, and shallow, and just, “How are you?” “Good, how are you?” But I think I’ve had to really push myself to make sure that I’m asking the right questions, and checking in.
I think another challenge for me as a therapist… sometimes you come home from work and you have nothing left in the tank to give emotionally, right? Like, I wanna come home and I wanna put on the football game and I wanna dissociate and not feel any of these intense emotions. I just wanna kinda escape. But I have a wife and a daughter and a family, and I have friends that depend on me. So like, what’s been a challenge for me is to make sure that I take time for myself, and there’s some balance and self-care involved, so that, you know, I don’t run out of emotional gas. I have something left for everybody that needs me. It’s tough, it isn’t easy.
NB: You’ve said before that you consider yourself to be an empath. What would you consider to be your empath type?
JS: I wanna hear what you think it is.
NB: Cognitive and emotional.
JS: What makes you say that?
NB: Your skill with words, and the way you’re able to put feelings and emotion into written and verbal expression.
JS: I… I think that’s a pretty good take. I don’t think I can argue with that. Yeah, that’s pretty much spot on.
NB: You’ve said before that “Always December” is your most underrated song. What is your most overrated song?
JS: Oh man, you want me to slander my own music in an interview? I’m gonna look at our Top 5 on Spotify… um… I don’t know… um… Man... I would say… I’m gonna go with… “Wired for Worthless”. Yeah, I’m just gonna go with something that’s gonna trigger people and upset people. I think it’s an awesome song for what it is, it just doesn’t, kind of… There are other songs below it that I think I’m more proud of. Like “Tattoos”, or “Words That Don’t Exist”, or “Afterlife”.
NB: As a musician and mental health professional, do you think there is a need for mental health resources tailored to the music industry?
JS: Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, there are some. When you go back into a venue, there’s an organization that you can call, I can’t remember what it’s called, but it’s for musicians. It’s kinda like a hotline that helps people find therapeutic resources on their insurance. So I think that’s helpful.
I think people who talk about how we need to get mental health figured out don’t realize how complicated that puzzle is because it’s great to get people the resources, but I mean, look at the state of the economy. People can’t afford the resources available to them. So as much as I want to avoid the political conversation, I think there’s more value in finding ways to make mental health care more accessible and affordable for people. Right now, I think there’s kind of a gap. There are people who are on my waitlist for six months because they’re like, “Well, I can’t find anything else. There’s nothing else available. Everyone’s booked out.” And people are willing to wait half a year! No one should have to wait that long to get help and to be seen.
I remember when I first started, like a private practice would be charging like $75, $80 per session, and that was like, a good clinician. And now they can charge from $150 to $200 an hour. So, I mean, I just don’t know how a lotta people can afford to add a $600-800 a month expense to their bills, much less someone with more complex trauma who needs even more sessions than that.
I think absolutely the uptick in shootings and expressions of violence and people feeling ostracized… I think people are not getting the help with their trauma they need where early intervention is vital. But, HOW? We don’t always have those professionals in schools, we don’t always have those professionals available to our kids, or to low-income families. So it’s a tough problem to solve.
NB: So, speaking of resources, this is something totally off-topic, but I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now, but like, you know I spent time in the Troubled Teen Industry. You’ve worked in places, so you know what bad programs look like and what good programs look like. What options and resources are available for neurodivergent kids with trauma, especially when it comes to residential care?
JS: Oh, that’s a great question. It’s hard, I think. I saw things at a program I worked at that made me very jaded when it comes to my experiences. I will say that, you know, those programs have so much money coming in. Parents are paying absurd amounts of money mostly to provide their child with the kind of care they need to heal trauma. And I met great staff. I met great therapists who were underpaid and overworked. I met great administrators. There was an administrator at the last program that I worked at, that I was all in. Like, I absolutely believed his vision. I think he was 100% sincere and wanted to find ways for families to get more out of their services and keep costs down for them and make it an affordable option more available to lower-income families.
I don’t wanna ever make excuses for programs that tolerate abuse, those programs need to be investigated and shut down, but I do think it’s… I gotta be honest in saying that I met some of the best people I’ve ever known in some of those programs and the issue is that all it takes is one bad egg at the top that’s more concerned with filling beds and meeting quotas than bringing in the right kids, you know? Or making sure the students they’re bringing in are the right fit and fit in with the other kids, and like, being more deliberate and careful with like, a child with a history of violence, especially if you want all those kids to get help, you know? There are students who just aren’t ready for a program like that yet, right? Like, they’re not a good fit at this time and so there’s some times where I really respected the process of deciding which students to enroll, and how serious it is with that, and there were other times I was like, “Man, we’re just taking anyone with a checkbook, aren’t we?” Like, no matter how it affects the staff, the students, and the home.
You know, it’s like, I think that those programs are really tricky because there’s always gonna be that human pressure of those who are working them to make decisions to help them make more money and provide for their own families. But those decisions aren’t always parallel with what’s best for the home and the staff and the students. So that’s a slippery slope, you know, that can really get messy quickly. And while I don’t think I can ever work in that world again because of the burnout and the amount of hours that are expected of you and the situations that young kids, young college kids, are put into, I think that is not something I’d ever wanna be involved in again, but I am really grateful for what it taught me and some of those experiences I’ve been able to have.
Getting back to your question about whether or not I think there are good resources that are available… um… I think that there’s nothing more valuable than finding a great therapist that has a lot of experience working with kids on the spectrum. You know, I think that’s a great place to start. I know there’s situations where a student is having behavioral issues, or trauma coming up, and things that are making life so heavy and so unbearable that they could benefit from some… more comprehensive kind of treatment options, but I think sometimes they jump the gun and I think that the right therapist that isn’t going to blame the kid, and isn’t gonna gaslight the kid, basically ostracize the kid and make them feel like they’re the problem. So I think that can be life-changing for a student.
I mean, there was… I had a great boss at one of my programs that always told us that connection, like, being able to make a student feel like they’re normal to you, and not broken, and like you actually care and have a relationship with them, and you’re actually their friend, while maintaining professional boundaries obviously, that’s more therapeutically powerful than any kind of intervention when it comes to therapy. You know, these kids feel like they’re just the outcasts of society, there’s no place for them, and they’re never gonna be normal, and they’re never gonna be accepted. Giving them that acceptance can help them feel like they have a normal, healthy relationship with you. Like, that’s the most powerful thing in the world.
So I would advise people looking for options for neurodivergent youth…
You can start with really being diligent in exploring therapist options in your area, and mentor options, you know, things that are lower risk, so that your child can stay at home. So, I think that gives the opportunity to help your child start building like, this arsenal of healthy relationships and like, good experiences in the mental health field so they don’t just get thrown into some treatment program, being kidnapped from their families, and then have this terrible taste in their mouth where they feel like, you know, “I can’t trust these programs, I can’t trust therapists, I can’t trust people who are trying to help my mental health,” because that has lifelong implications that are really damaging.
So that’s my extremely long-winded response to your question, but I just think it’s a really complicated answer and the best advice I have is, while I think those programs have good outcomes for some students, I think it’s, a lot of times, it’s a really bad one. And traumatic. And I think that before you take that kind of risk, and roll the dice on a program that may be driven by other motivations that don’t include your child’s well-being, I would explore trying to help your child build real great connections with professionals close to your home, under your supervision, before you take that step.
NB: Wow. Um… thank you for that. I feel like… you really get this.
JS: Well, I can tell you I definitely get… I don’t wanna say I get it, because I’ve never been a student in one of those programs. But I know what it’s like to see a student get blamed for everything. And I think it’s easy for staff and the people working in these programs to not look inward and they just complain about how difficult the kids are or, you know, how hard the job is. When really, those kids are struggling because of those professionals. They’re struggling because they feel like they’re seen as problems and burdens, and not humans, you know?
NB: Totally switching gears here… Being a parent myself, I’ve learned how much having children can positively impact people with prior trauma. You’re now the father of a young daughter. How has being a parent changed how you view and manage your trauma and struggles with mental health?
JS: I will say, being a parent is a great mirror. Somebody told me that, I don’t remember who it was, but it really has a way of pulling out all of your weaknesses and all of the ugly shit, right? Like it really puts that stuff on the forefront and it’s harder to avoid it. My daughter has me absolutely wrapped around her finger, and I would never… like, just the thought of doing anything to hurt her makes me sick. So I am much more aware of every little thing I say and how she responds and my behaviors. I think there’s just another level of accountability now for how I manage my trauma, my triggers, it’s really high. At times, I’ve had to check myself, be like, “Hey!” It makes me wanna work on these things, but also I’m not… I need to have empathy for myself, right? Like if I push myself too hard, and I don’t give myself any grace, I’m also not gonna be a very good dad. I think being a dad has really been a wake-up call in a lotta ways, called me on a lotta my bullshit, and forced me to own it and to work through it and to not make excuses for it. And as long as I can continue to also find a way to find compassion for myself, I think it’s a really healthy thing.
NB: What do you hope this tour can do for your fans?
JS: I think kinda back to what I said to your earlier question: I hope it feels more like group therapy, like a support group. I also hope they meet people in their area, where they live, that become lifelong friendships. I hope they can bond over the music. I hope that they can be there for each other outside the scope of Citizen Soldier and what we’re doing. I hope that it becomes more about them caring about each other than just the band, you know? I think that’s the ultimate goal. I want people to build relationships out of this band that last, and that lead to connection. Because, at the end of the day, that actually saves lives. So I think I just wanna create as much of that as we possibly can with the touring.
NB: What do you hope this tour can do for Citizen Soldier?
JS: It’s a slippery slope, you know, talking about where you hope the band will be and like, it’s easy to say, “Oh man, once we hit this many listeners, or once we start pulling 500 people a city, or like, then we’ll be happy.” It’s kinda like the chasing the rainbow effect, it’s like, there’s always looking for the next thing to make you happy, and you’re never able to be present and enjoy where you are. So, I think… we’re trying to stay grounded and focused on what’s important. We have goals. I mean, we’re uh… we think that we have a lot of potential fans out there that just don’t know who we are. Listening to these bands like Red, and Breaking Benjamin, and Shinedown…
From a business side, right now, we’re just really trying to make the case of these other bands, like, “Hey, look… look at what we’re doing. This is real. We have real people coming out to see us, and it would benefit you to bring us out with you.” Because, as much as the music industry, as much as we’d like to believe, it’s all driven by money. It’s all driven by money, and at the end of the day, the only thing these booking agencies care about is how many people you can pull. And so we’re just trying to pull as many as we can so we can have opportunities to get on the road with bands that we feel like would help us find more of our potential fans out there. I have a hard time believing that anyone going to like, a Skillet show wouldn’t be open to listening to our music, you know? I think they just don’t know who we are. I mean, just, we’re gonna have those opportunities, I’m not losing sleep over it.
We have some really exciting collabs coming up that are really gonna help the online reach of the band. But I mean, we’re doing pretty well online. It’s more about how we can translate that into shows.
NB: What’s next for Citizen Soldier?
JS: We are in Nashville right now recording our ninth record, the record after ICU. It’s a very different kind of record. I don’t wanna say it’s less… sincere… because there are definitely songs on there that are kinda heartbreakers, like we typically do, but…
NB: Is it heavier, like “Good Enough for God”?
JS: In some ways, I’d say yes. I’d say that, you know, the past year I’ve just dealt with so much frustration and… talking to my clients, talking to fans, and talking to just people in the world right now, like, there is just so much skepticism and cynicism and frustration with the state of the world. Like people just feel so stuck right now. In their lives, in their jobs, in the mental health struggle. Like, people just feel so trapped and like there’s nothing they can do about it, you know? And so this record really taps into that frustration, and it also, I think…
What’s funny is we were talking about this as a band yesterday in the studio, cuz we had a song where we did one of the quirkiest things we’ve ever done, and we were joking about like, we did it as a joke, and then we’re like, “Oh, let’s just keep it in the song,” because, you know, in albums like ICU, we talk about like, my survival story, my triumphs over my struggles, but I don’t feel like that’s the full picture. I have a lotta ugly shit that I’m working through, and I’ve got a lot of habits and quirks and things about me that I think, you know, aren’t so pretty that I’m trying to change, and so all the other records have kinda painted me as a kinda hero, you know, not intentionally, I just wanna help people. I just want my story to benefit other people.
But I think this next record is a more honest exploration of some of the ugly side and some of the things that I struggle with and I’m hoping that being more vulnerable about that, kind of tapping into some of my dark humor and self-deprecation and just being real about, “Hey, I’m not this great person all the time, I struggle, and you know, I have my demons, my blemishes that show up all the time.” I’m hoping that’ll be refreshing for fans and really relatable.
NB: Can… can I ask you something a little more personal?
JS: Yeah, of course.
NB: Um… like… how are you? Like, really. You doing okay?
JS: I appreciate you asking that. I’m doing alright. I um… I think I’m taking the steps I need to to at least be managing my own stuff. I see a therapist personally, I think all therapists should. And I have a great support system with my wife, my therapist, my family. You know, things aren’t always easy to balance for me being a therapist, and doing what I do with Citizen Soldier, and trying to be a dad, and a husband. I think sometimes it feels like, impossible? to please everyone, or to like, give all of myself to everyone. But, you know, it’s something I’m learning to manage and it’s a work in progress. But, I think I’m managing the struggle well, if that answers your question.
How are you doing?
NB: Um… well… honestly? Can… can I trauma dump a little bit?
JS: Of course, yeah, sure!
NB: Last week, I had an experience that was really just… incredibly invalidating, and hurtful. And just like, it was really intense. I’ve never felt so unwanted, and targeted, really… just because I happen to have a specific kind of trauma.
JS: I can imagine that when people minimize experiences of others who’ve been through things like what you’ve been through, it’s so easy to get stuck in the trauma spiral of doubting yourself and, “Oh my gosh, was it really as bad as I thought it was? Am I overstating it?” And you kinda make yourself go crazy. You’re like, “Am I just…” basically you’re like, “What’s going on?”
And of course, none of that’s true.
The proof of the validity of what you went through is in the pain. If you’re struggling to let go of it, you’re struggling to move on from it and it hurts and it causes depression and anxiety. Like, that’s the proof. It doesn’t matter if it was getting assaulted by somebody, or somebody at school saying something hurtful to you. How big or small the activating event may seem, the evidence of the trauma is not in what happened to you, it’s in how it affected you. No one can tell you it hasn’t affected you on a grand scale, because YOU KNOW. You’re the one who’s had to live with it and feel it.
But when people minimize those experiences and make it seem like the victims have some role in what happened to them, it’s just so easy to start gaslighting yourself and really feeling guilty about it or shameful about it. That’s a really tough place to be and I can’t imagine that’s an easy thing for you to carry or manage.
NB: So, soon I’ll be starting my new TTI podcast. I want to give as many people who have been impacted by the Troubled Teen Industry, staff and parents included, an opportunity to be involved with this project in different ways. Would you possibly want to take on the challenge of writing the music for it? I’ve had a few people send me stuff, but like, it’s not quite the right sound, or the right feel, of what I’m looking for. You understand this in a way that a lot of people don’t, and you have a connection to this too.
JS: Let me… let me think about it. I think… I’ve always thought it’d be cool to write a song about that world. It hasn’t happened yet… Man, it’s funny you say that, and I start thinking about titles. I’m like, “It’s Not You,” “You’re Not the Problem,” “Not Your Fault.” Like, how do you capture what you wanna say to a kid who’s been through that system and what you want them to take from it? I think I’d have to put some time into thinking about that, but I can definitely keep my ears open and let you know if I come up with anything good.
Because I think that what you’re doing… I think, like, it’s disingenuous to only say like, oh you know, um, “There are good programs and bad programs,” It’s… it’s so much more complicated than that. “There are good staff and bad staff. There are good therapists and bad therapists. There are good program directors and bad program directors.” And sometimes they work at the same program, and that makes things even more complicated. So, um, I think that capturing that experience is so hard. But like, more than anything you just want to remind that kid that, you know, that time in that program does not define them. That whatever bad people they experienced, and what bad experiences they went through in that program were not their fault or the result of some deficiency on their end or some character flaw that, you know, that’s not something they have to carry. It’s not theirs to own.
Let me think about it. Feel free to text me if you have any ideas, but I’ll put some thought into it and we can always circle back!
When I hung up the phone, I found myself taking a moment to sit there in the silence and be present and just allow myself to absorb what, for me, had just been the most comforting and validating and understanding conversation I have ever had with another human being in my life. I felt like, for the first time, someone finally felt my trauma for what it really was, with all its jagged edges and intensely deep grief, and they didn’t judge me or blame me or gaslight me about it. They didn’t just leave when they felt how heavy my pain was.
Charlie will always hold a very special place in my life. Just the simple action of hitting that share button gave me the gift of Citizen Soldier and Jake Segura.
Since that day, since that moment I heard the intro lyrics of “Thank You for Hating Me” for the first time, I have had the privilege of giving that same gift to countless friends who could really use the same intense level of healing and understanding I was able to find within Citizen Soldier’s split-second silences, Kooper’s effortlessly cohesive riffs, Matt’s thrashing solos, Kyle’s savage drum beats, and Wonitta’s distinct and synergetic piano melodies.
The same comforting and unspoken compassion and empathy I found between the hypnotic notes and violent peace encased in Jake’s trauma-affirming lyrics and reassuringly smooth voice.
Citizen Soldier taught me the meaning of and value in genuine human connection, in allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and raw with each other, and in just taking the time to show people the proof they need that, as Jake said once, “You’re gonna sit there and put in the work to understand what their darkness looks like and that you’re not gonna leave once you do.”
Oh, and Jake also gives the world’s best hugs. If you ever get a chance to attend one of their incredible shows, make sure to grab a hug afterward. I promise you won’t regret it.
WEBSITE: https://www.citizensoldierband.com/
MERCH STORE: https://store.citizensoldierband.com/
TICKETS: https://www.citizensoldierband.com/shows
CITIZEN SOLDER INFO:
2016-Present
Genre: Alternative Rock
September 2023: 1,095,093 monthly listeners on Spotify
December 2020: 100k subscribers on YouTube > September 2023: 525k subscribers
Members (5):
Jake Segura- Lead Singer & Songwriter
Kyle Persell- Drums & Manager
Matt Duffney- Guitar
Kooper Hanosky- Guitar
Wonitta Rivero- Bass & Keyboard
Discography (7):
Caroline- 2017
Relentless- 2019
Down the Rabbit Hole- 2020
This is Your Sign Part I- 2021
This is Your Sign Part II- 2022
Scarecrow- 2022
ICU- 2023
I also love how therapeutic music can be
I'm so glad I shared them with you (: this interview makes me love this band even more. I feel so seen and heard every time I listen to any of Citizen Soliders songs.